Tim The Thief » Pictures

Funny Transportation #1

Tim — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 05:19:35 +0000

Here are 25 funny pictures that have to do with transportation. This is the first set of funny transportation pictures and hopefully with a lot more to come. Enjoy!

- Tim

Amish Limo

Real Indians Ride Buses

Look in both mirrors before you cheat!

It’s not a good idea to leave your car doors open at night during winter

Wheelchair for carpooling

Zero horse power, just people power…

Dogmobile

Half car half refrigerator

Car lock, extra security

Car garden

1st & 2nd class full, only 3rd class available…

GPS

Powered by Nintendo

Rednecks don’t need a lake to water ski

What became of your stolen lawn mower and bicycle

1 wheel drive

Never buy cheap paint

Badass biker

Car trunks are overrated

Too bad they still won’t pay you out

Horses need gas too

Wooden motorcycle

Cheap Tours

Redneck pool

Helicopter car

Funny Animals #1

Tim — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 12:59:31 +0000

Here are 25 funny pictures of animals. This is the first set of funny animal pictures and hopefully with a lot more to come. Enjoy!

- Tim

This is your dog on drugs!

Don’t bark up the wrong tree!

To market to market to buy a fat…?

Police dog and police deer

Hairy dishwasher

Wooden slides suck

Lunch time!

This cat likes to party hard

Camel popsicle

How the avian bird flu got started

Two Asians and one hungry seal

One happy dog

Wannabe zebra

Kitten has a gangster ride

Green means "fly"

Cat Lucha Libre

Don’t bite more than you can chew…

Thirsty monkey

Anything for a peanut

Homeless dog

Secrets make friends and even earn snacks

Does your insurance cover elephants?

Grumpy old senior dogs

Our owner is a gay sick freak

Is that another lion? Let me see that!

Porn For Women

Tim — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 06:22:21 +0000

Cambridge Women’s Pornography Cooperative published the book "Porn for Women." According to them, they "asked women, young, old, rich, and poor, "What really, really gets you hot?" Armed with their findings, they worked day and night to create Porn for Women." Dream on! These are a few pictures are from their book. If you’re interested, you can purchase it from Amazon.com. Enjoy!

- Tim

Book cover: PORN FOR WOMEN

Don’t want anyone "falling in" in the middle of the night.

As long as I have legs to walk on, you’ll never have to take out the garbage.

I made some Niman Ranch lamb tenderloin with garlic, black peper, and Indonesian soy sauce for dinner. I hope that sounds OK.

Hold that thought a second, I want to pull over to ask for directions.

I don’t have to have a reason to bring you flowers.

Is that the baby? I’ll get her.

I know. Let’s take you shoe shopping!

Ooh, Look, the NFL playoffs are today. I bet we’ll have no trouble parking at the crafts fair.

I like to get to these things before I have to be asked.

Funny Costumes #1

Tim — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 22:34:01 +0000

Here are 25 pictures of funny (interesting & odd) costumes. This is the first set of funny costume pictures and hopefully with a lot more to come. Enjoy!

- Tim

Clown vs. Army

Ronald McDonald arrested by police

Homer & Marge Simpson

Ballet & Guns

Darth Vader as a kid

Kool-Aid – Oh Yeah! (Oh No!)

Guy Cheerleader

Octomom with her babies

Ever see a fat ninja?

Fat Flash

Scimitar fighter

Team Rocket: James

Sesame Street: Bert

Old baby

Snow White: Wife & Mother

Winnie The Pooh: Tigger

Too fat to fit into costume

Bull Terrier: Pig

Until rope do you part

Pink dress

Fat black Spider-man – Venom

Badass biker – Santa

Badass biker bunny

Fat Batman

This is Sparta! – Soldier

Funny Signs #1

Tim — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 12:50:04 +0000

Here are 25 pictures of funny signs. This is the first set of funny sign pictures and hopefully with a lot more to come. Enjoy!

- Tim

WARNING: FEED A PIGEON LOSE A FINGER

WARNING: CHILDREN LEFT UNATTENDED WILL BE SOLD TO THE CIRCUS

THOSE WHO THROW OBJECTS AT THE CROCODILES, WILL BE ASKED TO RETRIEVE THEM

THIS PHONE IS TAPPED

Thank you for driving carefully through the village

..SOMETIMES IT PAYS TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

Serpent River: WEATHER STATION

PRIVATE PARKING: UNAUTHORIZED VEHICLES WILL BE WORKED OVER WITH A SLEDGE HAMMER…

POLICE STATION TOILET STOLEN. COPS HAVE NOTHING TO GO ON.

PLEASE DRIVE SAFELY: UNMARKED NUCLEAR WARHEADS TRAVEL THESE ROADS

NOTICE: THANK YOU FOR NOTICING THIS NEW NOTICING – YOUR NOTICING IT HAS BEEN NOTED

NOTICE-PUBLIC BAR: OUR PUBLIC BAR IS PRESENTLY NOT OPEN BECAUSE IT IS CLOSED. – MANAGER

NOTICE: PLEASE DO NOT THROW STONES AT THIS SIGN – thank you

MR. TOSKANA – HAS HAD AN EXPENSIVE DIVORCE AND NOW NEEDS THE MONEY, SO SALE NOW ON!!

KEVIN Henson CAN GAMBLE BuT HE CAN’T PAY CHILD SuPPORT

JACOB VON HOGFLUME 1864-1909 – Inventor of time travel. lived here in 2063

@ Internet –> 100m

How many times has your teenaged daughter said "like" today? 2670243

HITCHHIKERS MAY BE ESCAPING INMATES

HAND CAR WASH

Get A BRAIN! MORANS – GO USA

First Iraq Then France Then Hollywood Then You Hippies!

Connecticut Welcomes You – Birthplace of George W. Bush – We Apologize

BE PREPARED FOR THE UNEXPECTED

Babies and Children – BUY 2 GET 3 FREE!

PETA: Sexy Terrorists

Tim — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 11:58:17 +0000

PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is organizing more and more protests and each protest seems to outdo the last. While its nice when beautiful girls show off their bodies, but how does it help animals? PETA seems to be willing to give up everything for their animal cause; maybe even their lives? This makes me wonder if they care more about animals or if they care more about having a "cause" and being part of something. PETA members are psychos and their Vice President MaryBeth Sweetland is a hypocrite. She has diabetes and is the exception to own rule/belief about using animal by-products. The insulin she takes was tested on animals prior to it being used on humans and insulin contains animal by-products. The way PETA sees things, humans life seems to be worth less than Fluffy’s or Smokey’s. Yes, very crazy. Too bad looks are deceiving, right? Whatever you do, never date or marry a vegan unless you are one! (Vegans do not consume any animal products or by-products. Vegetarians do not consume meat, poultry, fish, or seafood.)

- Tim

Save the Planet – Go Vegetarian.

VEGETARIANS MAKE BETTER LOVERS

Meat Is Murder

THE NAKED TRUTH: KFC TORTURES CHICKS – Boycott KFC

GLUE TRAPS HURT

Clean Your Conscience: Go VEGETARIAN

Turn Your Back on Fur

We’d Rather Go Naked than Wear Fur

???

Bullfighting

Cody McCasland’s Magic Legs

Tim — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 11:46:40 +0000

Cody McCasland is like any other 7 year old kid. He does things kids his age do, sports, go to school, etc. What makes him different from other kids are his legs. Cody is a double above knee amputee due to a rare birth defect called Sacral Agenesis. Here is his story that is posted on his website:

"On October 2, 2001, the doctors decided that at 34 weeks, Cody McCasland was going to be delivered as the amniotic fluid was decreasing and Cody’s growth was no longer increasing. Cody was delivered by an urgent cesarean section, and immediately, they knew things were not quite right. Mike, Cody’s Father, could see that Cody’s legs looked different, and he only had 4 toes on his right foot, but that was all he knew. The doctor’s asked him not to say anything to Tina, Cody’s Mother, as she was still in surgery herself. Cody did not breathe on his own for several minutes, but after he did, he was swaddled for Tina to hold for a few seconds.then off to the NICU. Mike followed. In the NICU Mike was told of all the problems by the physician, and then told to prepare for him to die. He was completely alone and the physician left. He came to Tina with the news, whom did not understand or believe it. Shortly thereafter, the doctor came in to talk with Tina and Mike, and said Cody was stable, but he was being transferred to another hospital, without Tina. He needed surgery within the next day or two and they could not perform it there. Tina was able to see Cody one last time in an incubator before transport, but then he and Mike were gone. Tina was adamant that she was going to be at the other hospital when Cody had surgery and was walking that evening. Cody’s surgery was scheduled for the morning of day 3 and she was there. This was just the beginning of their medical journey with Cody. He remained in the NICU for 23 days, and had two of his now 15 surgeries, before going home.

The day before Thanksgiving, 2001, Cody stopped breathing while at home, and Tina had to perform CPR while waiting for paramedics to arrive. Cody began breathing on his own again, and would be taken to the local Children’s Hospital. Unfortunately, it was not the hospital with Cody’s specialists, so when they arrived and he was stable, the hospital decided to transfer him. Mike is now on the way to a part of town he has never been to, and is lost. Meanwhile, they are now ready to transport Cody and Tina, again by ambulance, to Children’s Hospital Dallas. Mike hits rush hour traffic, but after 2 ½ hours of driving, finally finds them. Cody ends up needing his 3rd surgery, which actually includes five separate procedures, and has a nearly 3-week stay in the hospital, in which Tina has to stay the whole time. This meant the family spent their first Thanksgiving in the hospital. Mike would daily drive down to the hospital to give Tina a break, after working all day. After the daily drive became too much, they had to pay for a hotel room for Mike to sleep in at night, so he could see Tina and Cody, get sleep and still work. Again, this was just the beginning of his 15 total surgeries.

In December 2001, Cody had his first appointment at Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children. Up to now, no one has given the family a diagnosis, although they have come up with their own by researching the symptoms on the Internet. Although the doctors will not confirm the diagnosis, they do tell the family that Cody will require multiple surgeries, one of which will be an amputation of his right leg through the knee. Cody had no knee or tibia on the right side. They were uncertain about the problems with the left leg and would have to wait to see how it developed, as he got a little older. The first surgery would be a hip surgery to his right hip, which was dislocated, followed by 3 months in a hip spica cast. None of the orthopedic surgeries could begin though, until all the necessary medical surgeries were completed.

In January 2002, Cody again ended up in the ER at Children’s Dallas because of abdominal concerns. He had an emergency surgery due to an adhesion caused by his November surgeries. Another 10 day stay in the hospital for both Cody and Tina, and Mike again juggled work, coming to the hospital to see Cody and Tina, and finding time to sleep.

The hospitalizations and surgeries continued on. Cody had numerous hospitalizations for infections and asthma/airways concerns, as well as for his surgeries. His next surgeries were in March 2002, on Tina’s birthday, in April 2002 he had 3 surgeries, and in July 2002 he had two surgeries. In November 2002 Cody had a seizure with an unknown cause right before going to Children’s Hospital Philadelphia for a second opinion on his legs. After coming home from that appointment, Cody had an MRI of his hips and legs to see what structures were present on each leg. This MRI showed that Cody was missing his tibia and knee on both the left and right side. Mike and Tina’s choices were few – to leave him in a wheelchair with legs that would not function for him and wouldn’t even allow him to sit normally or to have the portion of his legs from the knees down amputated to give him the opportunity to walk with prostheses. Bilateral amputation surgery was scheduled for January 2003. In December 2002, Cody caught RSV and again was in the hospital. He was released the day before Christmas, but this caused his surgery to be postponed until later in January. After Cody’s amputation, he was trying to stand on his stumps later that day. Mike and Tina were so impressed by how he continued to deal so well with being in a hospital environment and keep his always-cheery disposition. Cody never lets anything bring him down. Two months after Cody had his surgery he was fitted with his first prosthetics and walking with assistance! In August 2003, Cody again had a surgery, and subsequently, spent about 6 weeks in the hospital between August and November due to airway and respiratory concerns. Again, Tina stayed in the hospital away from Mike, and Mike worked, came to visit and relieve Tina, while trying to find time to sleep. Due to Cody’s continual illnesses that winter, Mike, Tina and Cody had to cancel their Christmas plans just a few days before Christmas and stay in Dallas. Since Cody had been born, they had not spent any holidays with Mike’s family in California, which was very difficult. Luckily, Tina’s mom and stepfather were there in Dallas for support and to spend the holidays with.

In June 2004, Cody was diagnosed with severe Osteopenia, putting him at an extremely high risk for a bone to break. Cody had to spend three days as an outpatient, every four months, getting infusion therapy to help re-generate his bones. He did this for a year and a half, and is now in re-mission.

Besides all of the above surgeries, Cody has also needed "regular kid" procedures such as tubes in his ears and gall bladder removal.

Through all of this, Cody has had the opportunity to participate in horseback riding, gymnastics, t-ball, soccer, swimming, running, golf, flying a plane, and many other adventures. Cody’s limitless attitude will get him far in life and help him to reach his goals.

Cody now has three different sets of prostheses. One set he uses for everyday walking, another, stubbies, for playing low on the ground with his friends, and a third, running prostheses, he uses for his athletic endeavors. Cody is currently in 1st grade. He swims, plays sled hockey, runs and plays the piano. His hope is to one day represent the United States of America in the Olympics or Paralympics, as well as to run a marathon, and complete a triathlon. Cody competed this past summer at the University of Central Oklahoma Endeavor Games in the 60 meter and 100 meter races, earning gold medals in each event for his classification, as well as swam the 25 meter freestyle and backstroke, again winning gold for his age and classification. In October, Team Cody will be going to the San Diego Triathlon Challenge. Cody will be running in the kid’s fun run, as well as running a portion of the 13.1 miles for our triathlon team. This December, Cody completed the last mile for Team Cody in the Dallas White Rock Marathon.

Cody is active in the community by speaking with others about his limb difference and promoting Texas Scottish Rite Hospital for Children and Challenged Athletes Foundation. His hope is that through his public appearances he will raise awareness of the abilities of children with limb differences, and raise funds to support programs that help Cody to reach his goals.

This is just a little of Cody’s amazing story. There is so much more to it. It continues on a regular basis with the family having to endure multiple doctor’s appointments and treatments to make Cody as independent as possible. Through it all, Cody remains an amazing spirit!"

Wow, what a kid! He looks so happy and full of life. Cody is definitely a fighter that isn’t going to give up because of his handicap. If you would like to help Team Cody give back, you can donate to CAF.

- Tim

Cody and some of his legs

Cody at the doctor

Cody playing hockey

Cody playing baseball

Cody running a marathon

Cody water skiing

Cody golfing

Cody riding his bike

Cody horseback riding

Funny Homeless Bum Signs

Tim — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 05:51:39 +0000

Most of these of homeless bums may be broke and down on their luck… Ah, who am I kidding? 99% of them have mental illnesses or other disorders… There are so many organizations out there to help them and all they have to do is accept the help. BUT, on a positive note… Some homeless bums are creative and funny!

- Tim

WiFE -> HAS -> BEEN KiDNAPPEd!, -> IM SHORT -> .98 -> FOR -> RANSOM!.

Homeless Jedi!

NEED MONEY TO GET DRUNK SO THAT 2 WOMEN CAN TAKE ME HOME AND MOLEST ME

16 WIVES 7 HUNGRY DOGS 3 THIN CATS 25 KIDS AND STILL-HORNY PLEASE HELP WITH LOOSE CHANGE

HELP ME – I AM A DISABLED CLONE WAR VET NEED $$$ TO BUILD DETH STAR

GIVE ME SOME MONEY, OR I’LL KICK YOU IN THE FACE!

CHECKS NO LONGER ACCEPTED FROM THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE:

HOMELESS BILL NEEDS RICH WOMAN

WHY LIE!! I NEED A COLD BEER

NEED CASH FOR ALCOHOL RESEARCH

LET’S DO LUNCH U-BUY

OBAMA AINT THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS CHANGE

WILL – CUSS OUT YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW (FOR A DOLLAR)

SPENT ALL MY $$ ON CARDBOARD AND MARKER

Time Traveller Help! Need $$ for New Flux Capacitor

REPLACED BY CGI – PLEASE HELP

homeless + hungry God bless!!!!! PayPal: 40dude@gmail.com

NEED GAS MONEY FOR MY HUMMER – GOD BLESS!

NiNJA’S KiLLED MY FAMiLY – NEED MONEY FOR Kung-Fu LESSONS.

Will Take Verbal Abuse For $1.00

WiLL CODE HTML FOR FOOD – PLEASE HELP - GOD BLESS YOU!

BETCHA CANT HIT ME WITH A QUARTER!

I used to be a MEDIA PLANNER at a NYC Ad Agency. but I got fired! Why? Because our client…

Please have change ready for homeless.

SUPPORT HOMELESS BEASTS ON THE STREETS. NOT JUST THE LOTTERY. YOU COULD BE HOMELESS SOMEDAY.

A VIETNAM VET WAS HERE NOT ANY MORE. HE RECEIVED THE BENEFITS HE DESERVED.

The Russians Are Coming! They Are A True Threat!

Tim — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 13:18:11 +0000

I don’t feel safe anymore and I won’t be able to sleep at night knowing that somewhere in Russian is a dangerous man in a little wagon with a gun! But seriously, what kind of training can they be doing? Maybe paroling the base? On their way to attack Georgia (again)?

- Tim

The Russians are coming!

Russia’s Response To The American Hamburger…

Tim — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 08:42:01 +0000

The Russian text reads: "Our response to the American hamburger!" It’s probably delicious, if caviar is your thing. But, I don’t think it will make it to the Dollar Menu…

- Tim

The caviarburger