Bad News & Worse News

A doctor says to his patient, “I have bad news and worse news.” “Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” asks the patient. The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.” “That’s terrible,” said the patient. “How can the news possibly be worse?” The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

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Dinner With The Mother-In-Law

A patient says: “Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: “Could you please pass the butter.” But instead I said: “You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life”.”

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