Tim The Thief » parents

Bar Insults

Tim — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 08:17:08 +0000

Two guys are sitting on a bar stool. One starts to insult the other one. He screams, “I slept with your mother!” The bar gets quiet as everyone listens to see what the other weasel will do. The first yells, “I SLEPT WITH YOUR MOTHER!”

The other says, “Go home dad you’re drunk.”

Ugly Baby

Tim — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 07:59:53 +0000

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Dinner With The Mother-In-Law

Tim — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 07:33:24 +0000

A patient says: “Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip, I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: “Could you please pass the butter.” But instead I said: “You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life”.”

Little Kid Gets Caught Singing A Britney Spears Song

Tim — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 12:41:05 +0000

This little boy was caught on video (and in person) by his mom and dad singing Britney Spears’s song: Baby One More Time. Oh, the shame!

- Tim